Category Archives: life

Archives, life

Balance

Since I was a very young girl, water has always been something that both drew me and scared me. I grew up near the ocean (two of them, actually) and almost every single day of my young life was spent swimming, surfing, paddling, and playing in and around that icy cold water. I loved it – I was petrified by the depths, as I sat on my little foam surfboard waiting for a wave, but I was also comforted and comfortable floating on my back in the calm, warmer water of the Inner Kom.

Just before my mum, my brother, and I had to leave that beautiful little seaside town (and I both loved and hated it – but that’s a whole other story) because of the crazy things happening in our life, I had a life-changing experience in those waters. The once exhilarating feeling of being on top of those foaming waves on my little surfboard was replaced, in a moment, by bone-deep sheer terror. It must have been 30 years ago that it happened, but I still bear the scars. It was something I kept to myself as well. Never told my mum or my brother. It just wasn’t something I wanted to share. I don’t know if they noticed my change in attitude toward the ocean down the road from us – probably not, as I managed to keep up appearances pretty well for a little girl (I’m good at that, apparently – a life skill learned very young) and we left soon after my incident. I’ve been to “visit” my old hometown quite a few times – watched it grow from a tiny little “dorp” to a thriving town – and every time we get near to the Kom, my heart pounds in my chest and I feel cold. I can’t take my eyes off it, but I also desperately don’t want to look. The reason I’m telling everyone about my little childhood escapade is to shed some light on my current-day decisions. Recently, my husband and I have discovered (with great happiness) that our post is one of only 2 in the entirety of Europe that has a pool. An indoor pool. It’s not “heated”, but it is very warm nonetheless. Especially when it’s 1C outside and snowing and you can frolic around in the warm water while you watch the snowflakes coming down…My husband is a water bunny. One of his great joys in life is to swim. Whether in the ocean or a pool, he doesn’t care. He loves the feel of water, the depths, the breadths, the possibilities. And, while I have definitely moved on from my childhood phobias (where I could not even go into water above my knees) swimming is not my number one happy-making activity. I prefer to run. I am a runner. My husband hates running – not really his fault, as he has been forced to do it at manic paces for PT, which has also caused him great harm. His knees are shot from it. Swimming makes it all better…

I know swimming, when done correctly, is one of the best forms of full-body exercise there is. Running can’t hold a candle to the pros of swimming. I know this. This is why I want to compromise with my husband: he wants to go swimming at least 3 times a week, if not more (he’d swim every day if they were open!) and I do still want to swim, just not as often as he does. So I’m thinking maybe once a week I swim with him, and then the other two days (and one on the weekend too, perhaps) I will go running, instead. I think this will force me to get my butt back in gear, as I have let it slide for quite a while now. I’ll decide whether I will run with G or not, later. One day, I will run a marathon. I have to start somewhere…

Archives, life, sewing, vintage

Starting with this

Got the fabric yesterday, some matching buttons, extra fabric to make a matching trim – just need some snaps and I am off!My first example piece – made to MY measurements! It’s going to ROCK!

UPDATE: I got snaps! Woo! So now to find a space somewhere that I can fold out the patterns, trace and cut, pin and slice fabric and GET STARTED!!!

Archives, life

And suddenly I was all done

I sat down this morning, after a 4 day weekend (in honour of military veterans) at my computer, loaded up my school software, scrolled down to my next module and got going.An hour and a half later… I have finished my school work. Completely! No more modules. No more chapters, or sections. No more review quizzes.I am definitely going to go over it all again, obviously, with a colourful marker and some fresh note paper to do scribbling calculations for RX and compounding and ratios and proportions and all that fun stuff… but generally… I AM DONE!It’s taken me 11 months, to the day, to complete this. Pauses for many things like travel and sickness and moving and things like that, have added months to my work time. I could have (should have?) completed it in 6 months. But I am proud of myself anyway – I still have 2 months left to run through modules if I so choose.

Everything else, I have made copious notes and I have my books, and my husband’s books too (since he’s in the medical field as well) and now I can turn my focus on the test exams and examples and all that fun stuff.Then of course comes the task of trying to find a place to sit and write my exams. I think there are 2 of them – no exam for the M$ Office stuff, I don’t think.But right now… I am just sitting here, basking in the glow of actually Finishing.

*pats self on back*

Well done, me.

Archives, life

Whirling Dervish

Every now and then I wake up to find my brain spinning and hurtling in circles and I feel lightheaded and nauseas and weak and pathetic.

Vertigo, or an inner ear imbalance causes great mayhem to my head and body.I don’t know what triggers it, and I don’t really know why it goes away either. I just hope it does.Sometimes, it stays only for an hour or so, other times I will be a quivering wreck well into the night – unable to sleep, as closing my eyes causes me to feel like I am being grabbed by the hand and swung in fast circles like one of those handheld little paper windmills that children used to play with. Same whirring noise in my head as well.My ears ring, my head feels thick and heavy and filled with frothy cream or thick clouds. My eyes even jump around when it’s very bad and I cannot focus on anything without feeling like I’m going to take a nose dive right between my own legs. The world twists and doubles over and I struggle to stay upright.I alternately sweat profusely and then shiver like a wet cat in the rain. What makes me feel the worst is the nausea when I move my head too quickly, or I bend over to pat my dog or tie my shoes or even just look up from my keyboard to the window.I would rather have the sinus headache, than this. I can at least deal with that, treat that. This spinning chaotic lightheaded mess, I cannot handle and I cannot fix. I just have to ride it out, hope I don’t have anything important to get done that day and plead desperately with my brain (my inner ear!) to settle and leave me be.Tucking my hair behind my ear causes my head to whirl and my stomach to churn. That’s just not right.I feel pathetic. Weak. This thing is invisible – I cannot explain or prove it. I feel like a disappointment, especially when there are plans.Not even a cup of tea can make it right! That’s sacrilege!Anyone else ever had this? How did you deal with it? Do you know your triggers? How to prevent it?

Archives, life

So Many Exceptions

Something I noticed a great many years ago, is there are always exceptions to a rule.In languages, English is the worst when it comes to the exception. Most other languages are very straight forward and the rules apply 99% of the time. Not English, however. sometimes you wonder why they MADE a rule when most words falling under the supposed rule are exceptions!One place that the rule always applies and, as far as I am aware (of course I’ve not ventured into quantum mathematics or anything on that level!) there are no exceptions. †I think that’s what makes mathematics such a “universal” language.In life, there are also exceptions – observations, biology, weather, geography and another place I’ve discovered exceptions is the military life.There are always people who feel they are entitled to something simply because they fall under some sort of “exception” rule – mere technicalities, but people take these things very seriously.Learning to handle these people, these “above the rest of us” types, has been an experience that has taught (and keeps teaching!) me patience and given me a solid sense of humour when it comes to these things.I am not someone who holds myself above anyone else – I am me, and I am unique. I don’t lump myself in with any specific group, as my opinions can change in a heartbeat (I’m a Libra!) and I like to look at things from all perspectives.

This doesn’t mean that I just give in – I can†see†all the other sides of the argument… but it doesn’t mean that I†agree†with them! As I have tried to explain to my husband on occasion, I am not someone who likes to be “boxed” or “labeled” because when I make a decision or say something or do something that is the “exception” to the rule that falls under the label or box I’ve been put in, people seem surprised. I don’t like cages or limitations. The tiger that prowls my back has many meanings – one of them is my fierce independence and I suppose you would say “wild” nature. Don’t think you can know me just from a few meetings or an observation: I am far more than I show on the outside.Revel in your exceptions! I certainly do!