Category Archives: relationships

animals, life, memories, photography, relationships

Connected

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I have been thinking about one of my dogs back home, Macky (aka Moo – he was Moo long before I met you, Michelle-Moo) quite a lot the last few days, in between my strange dreams about crows and the full moon and being tattooed with black feathers (and a sudden urge to read about old Goddesses and mythology) and carrying a sword.

And a few minutes ago, I found out why he had been on my mind. He passed away today, around 3pm. At the time I was walking my dogs I think and I felt a strange lethargy and I felt quite sad… but I put it down to low blood sugars and that afternoon drop.

My mum sent me a message and let me know and said that the vet (he’s been our vet for over 30 years – pretty much all our animals have gone to him) said that we had done all we could and that it was time for Macky to head over the rainbow bridge. Free from pain and fear (he was blind and mostly deaf and spent a lot of the time not knowing where he was or if he was alone or in company – so he would whine and pant and worry) and anxiety, and bouncing around like he used to in fields of green, chasing a soccer ball (his favourite toy) or sniffing things and swimming and playing and meeting other dogs and walking with them. He was the unofficial Greeter of the 10 ‘o’clock Strollers (a group of us who used to walk our dogs every morning around 1000, or much earlier, especially in summer) and he made sure that every new dog, and even returner Strollers, felt welcome and part of the family.

I will miss my little Moo a great deal – he was a very special dog. I know people say that of all their animals (and I know I say that of mine) but he was truly special. After the horrible start to life he had, his positive outlook on life and happy go lucky attitude never failed to make my heart warm.

He was around 14 years old (maybe older – we’re not sure as he was a rescue with a hard past, as I said) and he had a good long, happy run of life. It still hurts, obviously, but he filled his days with happiness and curiosity and love of life and it was kinda contagious.  Being around Macky was like being around joy on four legs with a curly floofy tail.  You couldn’t be unhappy when you were with the Moo.

 

He leaves behind one of his best friends, Mardi Gras, who took an instant shine to him the moment they met, and that was what made the decision about who we adopted after his previous beloved pack (Molly and Mishka) passed away. She will mourn. Like we will.

Farewell my handsome lad. My little Moo. My little Prince Mackintyre.

 

animals, life, people, relationships

Take a breath and remain calm

I knew I needed to get Odin around other dogs as soon as possible, despite me feeling very ick after being attacked by the dog just 30 minutes before, but I knew it would be good for us both, so we packed our stuff and I gave the girls their jumbones and Ods and I headed out.
When we got there, he was very over excited and silly. So I made him wait in the car, with the door open, until he calmed down. Then we took it slowly to the arena. Stopping every time he got whining/barky and facing the other way.
He snapped and snarled at all the dogs, even his friend Lotto, so I knew it was going to be a long and trying afternoon.
I didn’t take him in to the socialisation ring – I didn’t trust him at that moment, and he was still way too hyped up. So we walked around and around and I made him sit next to the fence and let the dogs sniff him. He snapped at a couple, but was slowly calming down. As was I. Then a new dog arrived, a boxer named Roxy (her owner is Sarah) and Odin lost his marbles for some reason. So I made a point of following them around and making him sit and face the other way whenever he got snarly. I stayed very calm. My heart rate didn’t even go up. Then she went into the ring to be social, and she avoided the same dogs that he did (the excited dogs) and kept near the side of the ring. So I turned him around and let her sniff his butt through the railing, and then vice versa. Then we walked “together” around the arena along the fence.
He seemed better. He seemed to realise that, for now, the other dogs were not out to get him.
When she came out of the ring, I let him go over to say hello to her and I remained calm, with a loose lead… and guess what…
HE WANTED TO PLAY!!!! There was no aggression, no tension .. .he just wanted to play! So did she, so I let go his lead and they rough and tumbled and played BEAUTIFULLY for a good 5 or 10 minutes!
The instructor and everyone who knows him were SO excited! There was much cheering and encouragement from over at the obedience course!
I was so happy. I recorded a little bit of it to show my husband 🙂
It restored my faith in Odin, and showed me that it IS possible, we just have to take it slowly and find the right dogs (at first) for him to meet. And remain CALM at all times.
Then after Roxy left, we did the agility course and he did SO WELL! He was bouncing around and happy with his tail wagging, and he did the tunnel 4 or 5 times ON HIS OWN, in both directions, and he did the walkway AND the see-saw!!!! He was TOTALLY keen! Jumped the jumps happily too. His only issue was with the weave poles, but he did those too, with a little guidance from me.
All in all – SO glad we went 🙂 I’m trying to do as Cesar Millan says and take everything as a challenge to be overcome, not something to set us back.

I hope that now we can start getting him to understand that I will ALWAYS protect him as best as my human body can, and I won’t allow other dogs to hurt him and he can trust me to be in charge.

 

I wanted to post a video, but it won’t allow me to upload it for some reason.

You can see it here on Google+ 

 

 

animals, life, military, people, relationships

quiet days

Husband left on mission again early this morning – I had to drive him down to where they were being transported from, just before 0100. Took the dogs with, and Azzie (being the sensitive fur child that she is) picked up on my husband’s excitement and nervousness and impatience (the army does things in weird roundabout ways that take ages) and behaved like a complete crazy idiot. She leaped around and barked and whined and bashed into people and pulled me around. Husband lost his temper (not his fault – a lot going on) and couldn’t understand why she was behaving like that – I tried to explain that she was just picking it up from him, but he felt he was being calm and didn’t agree. On the surface he looked very calm, but she’s a sensitive dog, so she saw what was really going on inside him. This was proven when we said goodbye to him and headed back to the car – we were barely 10m away and she was suddenly calm, relaxed, walking easily on the lead with no pulling and no excitement. Hopped in the car just fine and all three dogs were quiet on the way home – heads out the window like usual – and they didn’t even bark at the MP and gate guards like they did on the way out.

So next time we go say goodbye or send him off somewhere and the dogs come with we will ALL be glugging some Rescue Remedy down 🙂

Dogs are amazing, really. Can’t hide anything from them.

The “silence’ experiment is going quite well: I’ve been walking them in near complete silence, with only positive remarks occasionally. I think that my tone when I speak all the time is perhaps confusing the dogs because my body language says something else, or my energy or something, I really don’t know. Or maybe it’s because by not talking I’m expressing my frustration/annoyance less, so it’s helping me remain calm? Could be a combination of all of that. We’ve encountered a few dogs in the distance and while my dogs have been interested (a bark from Odin, a small whine from Azzie and Gina puts her tail up and huffs) we’ve kept on walking without incident and with very little resistance from the dogs, even while the dog we’re passing by goes nuts on the end of their lead. We haven’t seen the Smug Man and his Husky recently: that will be the ultimate test for this experiment.

 

Now I have to get back into “mission mode” while my husband is away. I have to stop checking my phone for messages, and stop expecting to see him pull into our parking lot in Helga (our BMW) or hear his key in the front door lock. Will take a few days for me to sleep as well. Always does.

 

animals, life, relationships

A morning deer escapade

Well it started out lovely – nice and cold, with a few sprinkles of rain on and off and a brisk cold breeze blowing…. and then it just went CRAZY!
I let Odin off his lead to play with Azzie, and they were having a GREAT time – running around, chasing each other, wrestling, etc… and then we headed down the steep hill toward the trees that were chopped down and there was a loud CRACK, as a deer SHOT from the trees to our right and RACED off across the open grass…
And of course, Little Man thought he could get it. And he came VERY close…
He chased off after it and in half a second they were GONE! Out of sight completely over the hill. I called and while Azzie did initially chase after them, she realised she had no chance of catching either of them and she came back to me – what a good girl. Gina of course knows her limits and just came and ran beside me (she was also too busy eating grass to even notice all the action at first!) So Azzie, G and I half ran half walked around calling for Odin and looking for him. Then I stopped and thought – where would the deer run to? Cover, for sure, so we headed down to the thick tree line back toward the path where we started… called some more and out popped Odin from the thick forest… he watched me – I think he was checking it was me, and then i called him and he came running back to me, all excited and totally RAMPED UP on adrenalin! Holy crap that dog can run. Sweet jeebus. We thought he was fast before, but wow when he has “incentive” he is 10 times as fast. And that’s with the wobbly back end, still. Azzie felt it was her duty to tell him what’s what and let him know that we DON’T DO THAT! And Gina also stepped up to give him whatfor for a few seconds… but I couldn’t reprimand him, as he did come to me when I called. But he definitely went back on his lead for the rest of the walk!!
He was still amped up and wanted to race Azzie – but she was like NUH UH, not a good time, dude! She kept looking at me to make sure everything was ok – but I wasn’t angry, I was just relieved he hadn’t chased the deer down to the road! I would never have seen him again, or he would have gotten hit by a car, and the deer too 🙁
So we all calmed down a bit, and then carried on on our walk. He STILL had energy and kept checking tree lines for more deer, and bashing himself into Gina or Azzie, hoping for them to play and run with him… little rascal. Daddy is DEFINITELY going to have to go running or cycling with Odin when he is healed up properly. This little dude has MAJOR energy. I am 100% sure he has Galgo or some sort of greyhound mix in him. He is unbelievably fast.
Thankfully, he is totally tuckered out now and fast asleep on his bed, snoring away and growling and huffing in his sleep, with his little paws twitching like crazy. Probably dreaming of chasing deer!
I saw two huge rabbits or hares when we first got onto the forest path, but the dogs didn’t see them, and Odin was still on his lead at the time, thankfully, because he could smell them.
Wow what a walk :)I was too amazed and astounded at Odin’s speed, and proud of Azzie (and Gina of course) for being so good despite all the action, to get upset/angry about it all.

Otherwise – the dogs were great. Azzie on her best behaviour. Gina eating grass, as she had some glurks (hair or something stuck in her throat – or so she thinks, and the world is ending until she can gobble down a bucket load of grass) and they all pooped and it was all good.

Update: Watching Azzie sleeping and she is now also “running” in her dreams… also chasing deer!

animals, life, relationships

some things I’ve noticed

Just a few things I’ve noticed recently: Azzie is growing up. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago, and she turned 3. It’s actually quite dramatic how turning three, and reaching Berner “maturity” changes a puppy-like dog into a “I’m almost a grown up” youngster. She grumbles hardly ever – only when she really needs me to take her out, or she’s very hungry – and when she does it’s very quiet and very polite now. Even my husband noticed that! She also doesn’t eat as much (or grumble as often FOR food as she did) or as often and sometimes leaves food in her bowl as well. She pays attention to me (generally – except of course if there’s an over-excited dog on the horizon, but we’re working on that) and has learned a whole bunch of new commands and still knows all her old ones. She’s polite, she doesn’t stand on me or my feet nearly as much and she’s calming down a lot faster if she DOES get over-excited. It’s absolutely wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s just her growing up, or if it’s also to do with all the hard work I’ve put in, and my change in attitude (yes, still harping on about the conversation with my friend Nicole and the “eureka!” moment I had after that) that has done it, or maybe combination of all of it. Whatever it is, long may it continue and I hope it extends over to Odin as well. His training has barely begun and while he has some strange quirks we need to get under control, I think he will catch on quickly.

I want my relationship with my dogs to be awesome – and it’s really getting there. I want to be their “mama” but in the correct way. I want them to trust me in all things. That I can handle being “leader” of this nutty pack, and that I will keep my cool under duress. I think that’s important to them all. Especially Gina.

 

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animals, food, life, photography, relationships

A gorgeous morning walk and a little Odin update

A gorgeous morning – still cool enough that the dogs could enjoy themselves, but the sun was out and it warmed up slowly. By the time we got back to the car, it was starting to get quite warm, so we were just in time.

We discovered a NEW section of the Bahrenbach Pfad! (The Bear River Path) and took a wander down that to explore, but didn’t get too far as Odin started to whine a little bit as his leg started to get sore.
Dogs were _awesome_ on the walk! So well behaved. Odin met the horses for the first time, in the paddock near the parking area and he was scared at first, but then when he saw Gina being peaceful and calm and relaxed with them (sniffing noses and being nuzzled softly) he came close enough to sniff and be sniffed and it was awesome. Azzie did well too – she does get SO excited though and wants to play… luckily these are two elderly boys (the horses) and so they weren’t easily spooked by her play bows and huffs. But they all did well and I was very pleased. They also all three waited beautifully while a lady with a very feisty and large Labrador went by down the other path. The lady thanked us profusely for our patience and calm, which was pretty cool 🙂 No barking, no silliness. They sat (well Odin stood – he’s still too wobbly/sore to sit properly) and watched and Gina even wagged her tail. I gave them treats, they watched me. It was brilliant.
Same thing when we got to the car – another lady was parked there and she came up another path behind us a few seconds after us…
Dogs didn’t bark, even when they were in the car and the dog came and sniffed the car before heading to his car. I was SUPER proud of them 🙂

Azzie was a little anxious as there was medium loudness kabooms coming from the range, so I put her back on her lead and she felt a bit “safer” and enjoyed herself more. But she was not in the mood to play, despite Odin’s best efforts (he even did a yoga stretch out on the open field, expecting her to want to play and chase him around – but she didn’t want to) to engage her.
Odin’s tummy not so great this morning – maybe too much food again (I upped it a little last night as he seemed VERY hungry) or maybe still ruminating on the marrow bones. He perhaps needs a smaller one 🙂 I forget he’s not as big as the girls, sometimes.
All in all, a lovely walk!

Here are some photos:

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Odin is coming along really well – gaining weight, putting on muscle and he can go further and further on the walks now. He is a happy boy. He has a few quirks we need to work on – but nothing major (so far) that causes concern. He is a gentle boy, still, and I am hoping he remains that way. He and Azzie play so nicely together – nice and gently, the way Azzie likes – and even Gina gets in on the dog piles now. She did lose her temper a bit this morning and put him in his place, but I think he accidentally stood on her tail while they were wrestling. He wasn’t phased – just left her alone for a few minutes and then went back for more when she calmed down. She happily played some more, so she was fine too.

On other good news notes: I lost another pound! I’m well pleased with myself – only one more to go until I reach my (first) goal weight! It’s been a long, difficult haul for me, but worth it. I think I’m looking ok for a (nearly – just a few months away) 40 year old.

animals, life, military, people, relationships, travel

I have trouble letting go

Say you picture in your mind, just for interest sake, a thread or piece of string. Then you picture a pair of scissors cutting that piece of string or thread… can you SEE the thread being cut and the two separate pieces? If you can, you’re normal.

I cannot. Even if I think REALLY REALLY hard, and concentrate until my head hurts… even if it’s something that I THINK OF MYSELF, just to see how I am doing that day – I can NOT picture that damn piece of thread being separated. I cannot see it letting go.. it always.. “sticks” together, or “sticks” to the scissors or knife, or somehow remains in one piece. I simply CANNOT make my brain break it in half, or simply just make it two separate pieces. When I dream, the same thing happens… things stretch, bend, or miraculously join back together before I can see them apart – they NEVER separate.

I just can’t LET GO of the string. I know it’s a metaphor for a lot of things in my head, I know it’s weird, but I’ve been like that my WHOLE life.

If I physically cut a piece of thread, or a string, or anything that can be cut, broken or snipped.. it’s fine. I see it, I have no problem with it. But if I imagine it in my mind… it doesn’t happen.

Weird huh?

And going with that theme: I finally made the decision (after talking to my husband about it) to cancel my cell phone contract back home in South Africa.

It was a very hard one for me. I’ve had that same contract, with the same service provider, and the same number, for over 15 years. For someone like me, who has trouble letting go… doing this is a very big thing. But since we have no real idea when we will be returning to South Africa, it’s silly to keep it going “just in case”. Rather a new number, a new start, when we do go back. That way, I’m not paying for it every month and not using it in any way. It will be one less thing to worry about. And when it comes to worrying, I’m a Big One. So this is a good thing. Just waiting for a response from the service provider.

 

On another note! An update on our Little Man, Odin.

He is doing VERY well! Putting on weight, putting on a bit of muscle over his once very skinny body. He is so chilled and so happy that it’s like he’s a new dog. On Friday evening my husband and I, and two of my husband’s fellow soldiers (one of whom knew Odin where he was rescued from as he was stationed with my husband) went for a lovely long easy hike through the “Grunewald” (the “green forest”) with the dogs. It had been a very warm day, so it was nice to go out in the relative cool of the forest in the evening.
Odin and the girls had an absolute BLAST! The soldier who knew Odin before he came here could NOT believe how different he was. He says he is SO happy and so energetic and bouncy and MAN can he run!

It was nice to hear that they could all see the good changes in him after just such a short time with us 🙂

Here are some photos.

animals, life, people, photography, relationships

Day Thirteen and it just gets better

So I decided to just blog daily for the first two weeks of Odin’s adventure with us and then after that I will blog every few days which is back to my “usual” schedule – I think that’s a good length of time for people to see the changes in him and his life with us and my girls and their relationship with him.

 

I will keep everyone updated on his training and progress, and my girls as well – because we’re ALWAYS in training, right?

This morning the dogs and I decided to show daddy another one of our “new” paths – our long walk in the farmlands across the busy road. He was a little nervous about crossing the road with Odin, but we showed him that Odin and the girls are totally fine and we zip across the road and then head out on a LOVELY walk. We just have to wait for a “quiet” moment and then we run!

So we did this, and had a great walk with daddy – Odin was off lead the WHOLE WALK and he listened beautifully. As did Azzie and Gina (of course!)

Here are some photos!

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And here are some videos!

animals, life, military, people, photography, relationships

Day Eleven and the Gang’s All Here

Last night my husband finally returned home after just on 5 months away.

I really wish I’d thought of recording his home-coming welcome with the dogs because it was eye-watering sweetness 🙂

Azzie and Gina went completely berserk with happiness and Odin was beside himself with joy 🙂 I’ve never seen him wag his tail that much and have such a happy smile on his face. He definitely remembered my husband as his rescuer. It was heart-warming.

We spent a few minutes outside so the dogs could get all their happy bouncy out and then we headed back to the apartment.

Every time my husband sat down or was on the floor (taking his boots off etc) they piled on top of him with glee – even Odin!

This morning saw a very cold wind blowing, but the sun was out (mostly) so we headed out to show “daddy” some of the new paths we’d discovered in his absence. He was quite wowed by the huge expanses of land just down the way from the secret pond and while we didn’t really explore that far in to the new paths we wanted to show him, he and the dogs had an ABSOLUTE BLAST racing around and chasing each other on the grass fields. The dogs were completely exhausted by the time we got back to the car – swims in the pond included.

Odin didn’t want to get out of the car for my husband, when we got home, as I think he was thinking “oh no, where has he taken me now” because almost every time (except for the days my husband visited him at the vet) he would see my husband while he was over there, it was to be taken somewhere else for something else to happen to him. But once he got out he was fine – he recognised we were “home” not somewhere new. Will take a lot more car rides with daddy to get him over that worry!

Here are some photos from our awesome walk this morning:

(You can find lots more photos, and some videos too, here)

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animals, life, military, people, photography, relationships

Day Ten of the adventure

This morning we decided to head across the busy road this time, to our favourite long farm walk.

Gina, Azzie and Odin had a zoomie session on the one plowed area and then I popped Odin back on his lead as he then spotted something in the grass and had a think about chasing it (might have been a rabbit – there were quite a few around today)

He was super good though while off lead – listened when I called etc.

Nice and crisp and cold out there this morning, thankfully – so we walked at a good pace (Odin kept up just fine: in fact he was an eager boy and was ahead most of the way)
Lots of ticks *shudder* and I’m just hoping the fact that I could SEE them and they were walking around on the dogs and not hiding, that it means the stuff I put on is working… because I’ve found a couple biting the girls, but they have been there a while – so not sure if they were attached before I put anti-tick stuff on.
Put stuff on Odin yesterday too.

A good walk. All dogs pooped – all EXCELLENT 🙂

When we got home, I was picking ticks off Azzie’s fur  – I HATE TICKS. So now I feel like I have them walking all over me. *squirm*

 

In theory, husband might be home today. Not holding my breath, and I won’t get excited until I see him standing in front of me. I know the dogs will be over the moon. It’s been a very long time since they saw daddy, and Odin will be totally ecstatic, as my husband is his rescuer 🙂

 

Here are a couple of photos of our lovely walk:

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And here are a couple of videos of G, Az and Ods doing zoomies and playing 🙂

I lost another half a pound this morning…. I’m pretty excited. This portion control thing really works.

 

I was going to go to the shops straight away after our walk this morning but I was firstly too damn hungry (so I had my toast and tea) and I am tired from the walk too. So I’ll chill a little bit, and then head off.

Odin is the only one who ate “second” breakfast – despite Azzie not eating her breakfast this morning either. She eats later now, I’ve noticed. I also don’t think she’s keen on the salmon oil that I put on their food in the mornings. :/ It’s so good for them, but maybe I’ll swap hers to the evening rather.