Tag Archives: relationships

animals, life, memories, military, people, relationships, travel

Time to say goodbye

Living the military life can be both incredibly awesome, and totally miserable.

You get to live in places all over the world, on the military’s dime, and you get to experience things you’d never normally experience thanks to this.

The flip side of this travel collage is that you make friends, and you then get to say goodbye. Either you are leaving, or they are leaving, and if you happen to meet them at the end of your run in a place, or at the end of theirs, your time is even shorter. For most this is not an issue, but for people like me (and like the friends I have made – mostly foreigners like me, let me add – but not all) who find it hard to open up to people in the first place, having to speed up the “making friends” process can be horribly uncomfortable. Because of this, I don’t make friends. I actually try and make a point of not interacting too much with people because it takes me so long to trust and to find common ground.

However, I also try very hard to make “doggy friends” so that my dogs don’t feel alienated and “left out” when we move to a new place. Most of these “doggy friends” stay just that: people we meet at the dog park, or occasionally see out walking and join on a loop of the neighbourhood, but then one or two come along where our dogs just click, and we just click, and that’s it for my hermit mentality.

Now, through experience in this life, when it is time to say goodbye I tend to find myself feeling numb, aloof, and detached.

Saying goodbye to my friend Stephanie and her dog Frost, (and her husband Mike as well – though I was closer to Stephanie because of all the time we spent together daily with our dogs) today was difficult. I could feel the walls coming up already as she walked back to her car – “Don’t look back!” I said, because I knew if she did I would probably cry – and my heart turning in on itself, as per usual.  I will be very sad, believe me, but after a few days I will move on with my daily life, back to my hermit ways. Back to weeks of silence, except for enlightening conversations with my dogs.  I’ve done this enough times now to know that while it hurts right now, it will ease and it’s not like this time I’m going to another country – we can still be in touch!

But she and Frost were the reason we got going in the mornings: our walks were important. She also kept us on a routine in the evenings – we had to walk, or Frost would get up to mischief all night!

 

What will kick me in the soft bits later is when we go for our evening romp and stroll to and from the dog park, and the dogs wait impatiently at the fence for Frost and Stephanie to arrive… and they won’t be joining us ever again. That will hurt. My dogs are my children, and knowing they are confused and missing their buddy, that will hurt.

I know all the dogs knew there was something going on today (and for the last week, really, with the coming and going of Stephanie and Frost, and me as well) as Odin was very clingy with me, and Azzie wouldn’t leave Stephanie alone when she came to drop our vacuum cleaner off.

They will feel it when we go out, just the 4 of us, on our walks in the forest, or through the back streets of the other ‘hoods. And no more ‘hood walks, because we no longer have our body guards with us – Stephanie and Frost made us feel safer, even if it was just for the most part positive thinking, rather than practicality.

But, we got our day at the beach,

our walks in the sun, in the rain, in the wind, in the forest,

on the streets with our friends. These memories will stick with us always.

Safe travels, my friends.

 

Welcome, officially, to the military life.

Hello!

And now, time to say goodbye.

 

animals, life, relationships

some things I’ve noticed

Just a few things I’ve noticed recently: Azzie is growing up. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago, and she turned 3. It’s actually quite dramatic how turning three, and reaching Berner “maturity” changes a puppy-like dog into a “I’m almost a grown up” youngster. She grumbles hardly ever – only when she really needs me to take her out, or she’s very hungry – and when she does it’s very quiet and very polite now. Even my husband noticed that! She also doesn’t eat as much (or grumble as often FOR food as she did) or as often and sometimes leaves food in her bowl as well. She pays attention to me (generally – except of course if there’s an over-excited dog on the horizon, but we’re working on that) and has learned a whole bunch of new commands and still knows all her old ones. She’s polite, she doesn’t stand on me or my feet nearly as much and she’s calming down a lot faster if she DOES get over-excited. It’s absolutely wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s just her growing up, or if it’s also to do with all the hard work I’ve put in, and my change in attitude (yes, still harping on about the conversation with my friend Nicole and the “eureka!” moment I had after that) that has done it, or maybe combination of all of it. Whatever it is, long may it continue and I hope it extends over to Odin as well. His training has barely begun and while he has some strange quirks we need to get under control, I think he will catch on quickly.

I want my relationship with my dogs to be awesome – and it’s really getting there. I want to be their “mama” but in the correct way. I want them to trust me in all things. That I can handle being “leader” of this nutty pack, and that I will keep my cool under duress. I think that’s important to them all. Especially Gina.

 

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animals, life, relationships

just saying

My dogs are awesome. The dynamic we have is awesome. Yes, we butt heads (especially Azzie and I) but it’s getting much better, after my conversation with my friend Nicole (dog behaviourist) about how I’m not going to change Azzie, just have to learn to work with her in a way that works for all of us (Gina included, because she is affected by the stress) We’ve had a wonderful few weeks recently: Gina not stressed, Azzie behaving (95% of the time) and me being less riled up and angry/frustrated/annoyed all the time. I’m sleeping better too.
I love my dogs. My girls.

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So, I’m both incredibly excited and quite (selfishly) uncertain about Odin joining our family.
I don’t want this beautiful relationship I have with my girls to change because he arrives. I really don’t. But I also want him to join it, to become one of our family. To feel the love of a real home, where he can be a dog, be happy, be SAFE and healthy, have a “pack” of his own. A leader (me) that takes care of him in all things. That he can trust implicitly. I think that he will fit in just fine, but I also have moments of “why must it change?!” which is actually how I felt when Azzie arrived. And look at us now! I couldn’t live without the Spaz, and I am pretty sure that Gina would be devastated if we didn’t have Azzie around anymore either. I know it’s selfish, and probably a lot of me not wanting “change” things that are “working” how they are. Is that bad? Does it make me a bad person?

I feel bad for thinking it, but I can’t help it either.  It’s double sided coin. I am excited, happy to welcome this poor stray boy into our home. But I am also feeling a little bit… uppity about it. My girls and I have JUST worked out our differences, JUST settled into a happy, healthy relationship. And now it’s going to change. Not sure how it will change – I think most of the resistance will be from Azzie. She thinks she’s top dog, and she’s very demanding and likes to be center of attention. Gina is just so gentle and laid back she doesn’t mind what happens as long as nobody causes kak with her. She is, in truth, top dog – but she’s so subtle about it that Azzie doesn’t even realise it 🙂

animals, life, people, relationships, sewing, travel, vintage

Jetlag, notions, exciting times ahead

I have to say I am so incredibly excited about what’s to come in my business life…

Just before we left on our holiday, a wonderful lady got in touch with me via my Etsy shop saying that she had found my shop and was very keen to strike up a mutually beneficial relationship: seamstress and serious client.

She is looking to get one or two new items every season, and LOVES the idea of her garments being tailored to her exact measurements (she struggles to find well fitted items, just like I do, for our “vintage” body shapes) and even better: SHE LOVES VINTAGE!!!

So we’re in the process of ironing out the details and I am going to complete the dress I started (before Azzie arrived and put everything on pause while we trained her and settled her in with our beautiful Gina) a while back and start putting up photos of it (with images of the detail work, as best as I can show it) on my Etsy site and this website. She is busy purchasing vintage patterns for things she wants made, and is also sourcing fabric and notions for them all. She’s also had some interest from other people she knows and they will see how our first collaboration turns out…

I am so nervous, but so thrilled that this chance has happened! It’s exactly what I was hoping for, dreaming of, and I am keen to get started and show my skills and attention to detail and my meticulous nature at work…

In other news:

Azzie has settled in nicely, and her training is coming along very well. Gina has taught her some very good lessons in behaviour and strangely, Azzie has even managed to show Gina some things (not all bad, either!) as well. The time they spent together at the pet hotel (2 weeks) has also brought them a little closer together, and you can see they are starting to form a good bond: Azzie just needs to learn to calm down, as Gina does not like a “stressed” or overexcited dog. No dogs do, really. Azzie has, however, come a long way and we are very proud of her. They have both stuck by our sides since we picked them on Monday and you can feel the love (and relief I suppose – I think perhaps Azzie thought she had been dropped off yet again, at another foster home, so she was even happier to see us than Gina – if that’s possible!) coming from their big beautiful eyes. You can tell that Azzie is doing her absolute best to be on good behaviour, and please us as best she can. She’s growing up into a sweet dog. Gina has grown up in a matter of weeks too… It was her 4th birthday on the 27th February (a few days before we picked them up) and she’s definitely left the “pup” days (even for a Berner) behind her. Luckily, Azzie is still keeping her a happy girl by forcing her to react in a puppy like way to her antics.

They were pretty unfit so we’ve been trying to take it easy, but also get them back into a routine for their walks. So they are both pretty exhausted the last couple of days…